You came here for help and you found the opposite! Get ready for a litany of insults; insults that your terminal has always wanted to say but never had the permission. Now, it doesn't care.
Submit new insults!
Install the snap
sudo snap install whatami
You use this snap and software of your own accord, free will and choice. No one forced you to install it and take these insults. This software is meant for those with thick skin and a masochistic nature. Basically, people who don't take life seriously - nor themselves.
Just take a step back and laugh at yourself once in a while, everyone else is! :P